The Tab

So reading through some older posts, I am a whiny lil bitch XD.  As stated two posts ago, Elder refuses to close down ‘The Tab’ therefore I will be trying this again.  The goal this time will be the same as it started, rants and shit about random crap.  However, I am adding on something I should, and frankly upset I didn’t from the start, reviews of different movies and what not.  Granted I have already posted 2 movie reviews on here, Those were mostly out of anger to expose the absolute bull shit of cinema that they were.  Yes Heather, I am aiming that directly at the new ‘Alice in Wonderland’ movie, as well as the other cinematic clusterfuck you took me to see, which I will not name since its already been said and done.

On an off note. I’m coming home in a month.  I’m looking forward to the Abby Road concert this year =D

So any who, I was suggested reading this book some time ago.  Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein.   After a decent amount of time, a dude I work with happen to bring it up.  Told me he has it and already read it.  He too suggested me reading it and that I would really enjoy it.  So the guy brings it in and I read it.  I was a little shocked honestly.

When I was first told of this book by Elder, I wondered, how would one go about re-writing a Frankenstein novel.  Just to find out it was a trilogy O.O  I had a scary image of  ’Van Helsing’ [shudders]  I’m still in awe that they managed to make Frankenstein work in that story >.<

So the book starts off with the main character (the monster himself) in a monk temple in Tibet…… sure because that makes sense?  He likes to do this trick for a monk, making a coin disappear… Because all monsters should have this skill?  OH! and he thinks the lightning that brought him to life gave him the understanding of the quantum works of the universe and can take a single step on one side of the planet, and end up in New Orleans…. Just because thats fucking awesome!…. well minus the New Orleans part.  Of all cities to let this epic creature roam (or quantum leap) around, why New Orleans?  Meh to each their own I suppose.  At least it isn’t the usual city that destruction usually takes place.

We’re also given these two cops who are quite the pair.  We have the funny guy cop, and the over enthusiastic, my dad was a bad cop, stern, over powering chick.  OF COARSE!!! Because anything else would be too clichéd, specially since we weren’t given the clichéd city of destruction. We have our controlling, perfectionist bad guy, Victor Helios(Frankenstein), who is your every day atheist pushing his anti-god beliefs on you knowing you are wrong and nothing else but his opinion matters.  This autistic creation of the fucknuts Frankenstein, that wants to rip the secrets of happiness from this OTHER autistic kid he found in a news clipping (lovely right?).  Over all we have a wonderful cast of misfits and psycho’s.

Despite my slight bashing of the characters, it was honestly a good book.  I really enjoyed it and went into so research to find out about the other books.  While doing this, I find something appalling and absolutely horrific.  ”Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein: The movie”……..MOTHER@#!@$FUCKING ASS^%$^#WHIPE@#!@#SHIT$#%^&*(MONKEY)(*&!!!! [Starts to cry] I was only joking when I said a movie would be cool! Well fuck me sidways… I am gonna have to see this now. Away to Amazon I go >.<

1 4/\/\ b0r3|) 4|\||) \/\/4|\|73\) 70 533 |-|0\/\/ /\/\4|\|y 0f /\/\y r34|)3r5 (0u||) r34|) 4 p057 1f 1 7yp3|) |1|<3 7|-|15

1f y0u (4|\|….. (0|\|gr475, y0u |)0|\|’7 r43||y g37 a|\|y7|-|1|\|g f0r 17

|4\/\/12!!11!!1one!

Since my request to close my tab has been denied… I figure I might as well keep the tab in work.  The Elder will not close my tab, so alas I shall continue to rack up the bill.  Enough with the lame tab joke, it was made when I started the site.  Wasn’t funny then, isn’t funny now (even if I still do giggle at the lame ass joke >.<).  So on with my point of this post….

Alas Disney has done it again… They give Tim Burton rights to a movie he should not have created.  With the hopes of him recreating Alice in Wonderland as it should be, not that crazy, fucked up, horrible acid trip with absinthe, meth, and speed… mixed with what I would assume to be cute and cuddly creatures but due to the (see list of narcotics listed prior) of shit storm cartoon Disney made many years back… We get this.  This “sequel” to the psychotic dream world of a girl who fell down a rabbit hole.  So… lets begin -_-

-=SPOILERS=-

We start this film off… wait lemme at least state that this “sequel” to the CARTOON!!! is live action >.>… some time after the main character has fallen into the rabbit hole and already experienced the (see narcotic reference above) that is ‘Wonderland’.  Though for what ever reasons (couldn’t imagine why/how) she thinks it all to be a dream.  Let me repeat… a dream.  What kind of fucked up child would dream up such a place?! Any who… so her father figure person whom we will never see again yet will be mentioned a few times later on, tells her that she is mad (no shit) but the crazies are to be looked upon kind of like message.

-Jump so many years later so that she is now 19-

On her way to what I at first assumed to be just a normal party seemed to be more of a trap for the poor girl to be snared into an engagement by some god awful British stiff who made my blood boil just having to see the prick >.>  I do find this absolutely hilarious since he’s not in the movie long, but just the site of the fellow pisses me off XD.  Sorry back to the craziness that is Tim Burton’s Alice.  While the fucktard is trying to ask for Alice’s hand in marriage, she sees the white rabbit, runs from the stiff and manages to fall back down this rabbit hole… again.  She goes through the same crap with the growing and the shrinking and the confusion and potions and the cakes till she finally manages to open the door way to ‘Underland’ or something of the sort.

Yeah, so apparently this world is named for fruit of the loom?

She meets many of the same folk she did in the cartoon, they say she’s not who they’re looking for it confuses the shit out of her, she goes for some crazy ass trip around this psychopathic world of nonsense until she meets up with this…. Only not nearly as cool and sadly makes much much less sense.  So to save on a lot of time, people try to find Alice because they think she is here to destroy this Jabberwocky thing, other people try to save and hide Alice because the think she is here to destroy this Jabberwocky thing, ends up in the Red Queens castle as a very large Alice, then ends up in the White Queens castle drinks a horrible concoction of fingers, spit (from the overly gracious White Queen herself) and god knows what else to become normal size again so that she can discover she was the Alice every one thought she was to destroy the Jabberwocky thing, then finally kills the Jabberwocky thing.  Make sense?  Yeah didn’t to me either >.<

Its like Aslan from Narnia ate too many worms from the bottom of the bottle and took a shit and voila!  Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland (Underland?)

In short…

This! plus times SHOULD NOT EQUAL UP TO THIS!!!

Though give the past of all of the above  it shouldn’t surprise me at all….. blah!

I’ve tried to respark the witty humor that I once had… That funny slight dry sense of humor that made some of you laugh… That sense of gratitude after a decent post…

Personally I’m done.  Between the complete absent connection I have with practically any one back home, and the job that has me working non-stop, though I shouldn’t complain seeing as it keeps my mind off the fact that when I attempt to talk to most any one, the conversation fall short of even a small chit chat.  It has me feeling bad for my family, they (mom) tries hard to make sure she stays in touch, but every time she does attempt it, I’m busy.  I try to keep in touch with her as well, but alas, work has me tied up.  Sadly, it has me tied up so I’m not occupied with burning desire to break something.

I can honestly say that the lack of communication between most people, and the many failed attempts at trying to reconnect with those “close” friends I held so dear, has made me lose my urge to even want to come to visit them.  I will be coming home soon… for a weekend.  In which I plan to see my family, get the remaining things I left behind, and leave.  Hell, I’m probably just being a douche in your eyes, and not seeing things for what is really going on.  I care not at this point.

Will I let any one know that I came?  Sure, after I’m gone.  Do I plan to return?  Yes, its my home.  Will I be staying….. no.

I will come home soon to see my family

Alas, I am done

So, while on Facebook, I see people posting what Urbandictionary.com has to say about their name’s.  Thinking it would tell me the same thing every other site has to say about my name (‘handsom’ thats funny if you ask me) I ignored it for a while.  Though, after thinking on it for a while I thought I’d see any ways, being on 3rd shift and bored out of my god for saken mind does things to you.  And holy shit the funny crap I found while looking it up. I mean really!  I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in a while.

Here’s what the site says about my name:

1) basicilly a kid with a huge dick. looks great, smells great, and all the ladies want him. great at sports also. great sense of humor. (some of this may be true but I still lol’d like no other)

2) Anglicized form of the Irish name Caoimhín, derived from the older Irish Coemgen, composed of the Old Irish elements coem “kind, gentle, handsome” and gein “birth”. Saint Caoimhin established a monastery in Ireland and is the patron saint of Dublin. (ok?)

3) a male that performs great intercourse on a female (really? who calls sex ‘a kevin’? Thanks I guess?)

4)v. The act of hip-thrusting. The body is positioned in such a manner in which the movement of the pelvic muscles is maximized whereas the movement of the rest of the body is minimized. The hips are then thrusted back and forth in rapid succession. See HardGay. (Hard gay really? The one just prior said doing a chick was ‘a kevin’ and now hard gay?! for fuck sakes XD)

5) A Portuguese slang for penis (so a dude preformed a kevin with his kevin?!)

6) An amazing guy who is so funny, and wonderful. Someone who can brighten anyone’s day no matter how sad they are. He’s sweet, and handsome. He can be sarcastic but he gets it from me, well some of it. He gets scared of nonscary things, and he has an amazing sense of style with wicked hair to accompany it. His smile is adorable, and his laugh is too. He smells like heaven, even though I don’t know the exact name of the cologne he uses. I can pretty much say that I’m in love with this guy, entirely. His name means more to me than it would to anyone else, and I’m pretty sure of that. (sounds bout like what I’ve heard about me =p)

7) someone who has probably porked your mom (=O)

Now tell me this isn’t some funny shit!!  I was rolling!

[moving to something serious now =D]

So I know it has been a while (Sorry Heather), but work has been pretty killer.  Moved here to Phoenix about 2 months ago now, and still working about 60 hours a week.  Pretty crazy crap yo.  Since I’ve been here I can’t say I’ve done much.  Been really stuborn and not wanting to go out unless its with my usual group (Josh, Smalley, Dwayne, Heather), and I’m like crazy pail now XD  Ugh and fuck me sideways guys, I’m doing that stereotypical blogging shit now.  Writing some useless shit as aposed to the witty humorous BS the site started off like =(.  Making me upset.  The motivation  I had and the snappy come backs and replies to shit I see out and about just aren’t coming to me. RAWR! its frustrating sitting here writing and having to pause to actually stop and attempt (and fail mind you) of something witty.  On this depressing note I’m ending this post.

[Next post is about the Oscars.  Gimme a category to talk about next post and lets see where that goes.  I'm saving the Razzies for their own post soon to come.  Def expect something good for this one (hopefully)]