The Tab

So despite my recent announcement to go hiatus until I get caught up on all my review sites (yes I am big enough of a fan of all these reviewers to watch over 6 months of missed content!), my brother has requested a bit of a rage review.  Not of my normal kind either.  Normally I’m doing reviews of shitty movies; however it was requested for a review over the recent changes and addition to the Magic the Gather card game sets.

For those who know me well enough I have been QQ’ing over these new cards for a while now.  The classic card game that I use to love and spend countless hours in and after school playing with friends is quickly doing what Blizzard is doing to WoW (another possible review just to vent later).  Though it seems as though Wizards of the Coast is now getting to a point where it is breaking its own game and spoon feeding all the newbies to the game.

I had spent a few hours playing with a friend of my brother’s where I was introduced to a card set known as the Eldrazi.  They are colorless creatures that all share a common ability known as ‘annihilator’.  This ability has be raging every time I see these cards.  This ability has your opponent sacrifice X creatures where x is equal to the annihilator ability, whenever the creature attacks.  So you have a creature on the field that has annihilator 2, you’re opponent has to sacrifice 2 creatures before blockers can even be assigned.  No… no wizards… no.  WTF is this shit?! How can this really be countered?  With the multiphase in the combat step, I need to destroy that shit either as soon as your declare attackers, or when they come out.  Someone builds a deck of these broken fucks how will one counter that?!  What makes it worse, is you didn’t JUST leave them to only have annihilator.  You saw fit to beef them up with plenty of other fancy abilities.

Let’s bring in your mythic rare Eldrazi; Emrakul, the Aeons torn.  This bastard is a 15/15 for 15 mana.  HOLYCOWWTF THAT’S CRAZY ALREADY!!!  Sure, you can argue 15 mana is a lot and hard to get out, but lord knows that if a play plans to put this in his deck, he will have a deck built for putting these mana heave creatures out, so mana should not be an issue for a player with this in his deck otherwise they didn’t build the deck right.  Moving on, he apparently can’t be countered.  -_- really? I mean yeah, sure, I’d be pretty pissed if I used up 15 mana for this bastard and someone just “oh yeah? Two islands, counter spell, oops? TROLOLOL!”  It also has the absolutely unnecessary ability to give the owner of the card another turn directly after the turn this fuckwad is played….. WHATTHEFUCKWIZARDS??!?! FUCK YOU!!! So not only can I not counter the bastard, but I don’t even get a turn after to do anything before this “Flying protection from ALL colored spells with annihilator 6” gets to take his big 15/15 ass and stomp my ass into the floor?!  Oh and let’s not forget to mention that if by some miracle you actually manage to get rid of the fuck, he just goes directly into his owner’s library…. I mean seriously? This honestly seemed like a good idea?  Why not just take all that shit off the card and replace it with “When Emrakul, the Aeons Torn enters the battle field, its owner wins the game” because that is pretty much how I read this card.

Ugh moving on from those stupid shits, let me move on to the newer sets.  Now me personally, I was stoked to hear that WotC was bring back the Mirrodin set.  This is where I started playing magic back in ‘03/ ’04 ish.  Bringing back the artifacts and looked forward to reading the stories (I have the books from the first Mirrodin set and really liked them).  That was till I saw the ability of choice that was brought back in this set.  I’ve seen from the previous annihilator shit that Wizards should take a break from coming up with new abilities, so sure why not bring back some old abilities?  BUT WHY THE FAWK DID YOU BRING BACK POISON?!  It’s not that it’s a bad ability; in fact I actually like it. However, obviously you can’t bring ability into the game without breaking it.  In Darksteel, we were given an 11/11 with trample, indestructible, and what not.  Sure it’s arguable that this is pretty broken in itself.  However, they went and gave us a small “Easter egg” I guess you could call it.  A new artifact that is known as ‘Blightsteel Colossus’.  So this parody card (stfu I feel like they’re mocking the original Darksteel colossus) is an 11/11 for 12 mana, with trample and indestructible, and when put in graveyard from anywhere, it goes back into the owners library.  Essentially the same as the original guy, however they saw fit to spice it up and give it infect.  Infect is an ability that instead of dealing dmg through normal means, it deals its dmg as -1/-1 counters.  So when he deals dmg to a player the player takes 1 poison counter per dmg it would normally do, when a player reaches 10 counters, that player loses…… so let me get this straight, they put infect on an INDESTRUCTIBLE creature with TRAMPLE that happens to also be an 11/11.  Now this isn’t nearly as broken as the annihilator fucks but still!! C’mon Wizards, you’re breaking your own game putting these ability combo’s together.

It has also reached my ears that you are changing a classic mechanic.  Rather, you’re completely removing a mechanic that (as far as I know) been in the game since it began.  Mana burn.  You’re honestly getting rid of mana burn?  Why would you get rid of this?!  There is no other reason that I can think, other than that the newbie players and complaining and whining about this?  For those who do not know, when tapping for mana, you are given mana to your ‘mana pool’ per land you tap.  1 mana per land, if you end up say, tapping for 6 mana, and only end up using 4 mana for a spell, you are then dealt two damage to your life, since you had two mana left over.  It’s a mechanic that I honestly feel, forces a player to think about what they’re doing prior to actually playing the cards.  With only 20 life, every life counts, especially now that the game is becoming ever broken.  But you honestly see fit to remove this mechanic?  Wtf is it with these great games that have been going on for years, deciding that the best way to carry on is to break their own damn game?!

It’s just a load of bull shit.  Sadly it’s not just down to Wow and WotC.  I find that most games in general these days are just lacking what games use to have.  Sad to say but the golden age of video games is officially over.  Another rant another day I suppose.  Peace folks -_-V

I have gotten wind of something you are doing.  Something that I find absolutely ridiculous.  You are apparently threatening those who live within your area to make their grass green, at all cost!  I think you are stupid, and would like to point out some obvious facts you must have over looked.

1)      YOU’RE IN THE FUCKING DESERT YOU MORONS!!!!

2)      It doesn’t really rain a lot here to make your grass green year round.

3)      It happens to get over 110 degrees rather frequent in the summer.

4)      YOU ARE IN THE FUCKING DESERT!!!!!

After watching the news review on this matter, I’m not sure which is worse.  You’re dictatorship of these people to make their grass green, even at the expense of painting it green, or that this FUCKING TARD!!! didn’t know that grass died out here.  I would like to point that dumb bitch to my first and fourth point as to why you all are stupid idiots.  HOW CAN YOU NOT THINK GRASS WOULD DIE HERE!!!! You’re a stupid bitch… all there is to that one.

Seriously though, you would have these people make their grass green at all cost, even if it meant painting, I repeat PAINTING!!! their grass green…..

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I am speechless.  You’re a fucktard. End of story.  Good day dipshit!

Respectfully Submitted,

-W

So I’m browsing one of my movie sites, and I stumble across this movie called “I am Number Four”.  Reading about the plot, it doesn’t seem that interesting.  Its based off a young adult book “I Am Number Four” by Pittacus Lore.  Frankly, I’m not interested in this movie one bit.  What really sparked the reason for this post was a comment section.  Apparently this movie has some associations with Michael Bay.  I didn’t see his name any where in the section of Directors, actors, screen writers, ect…  Turns out he is just a producer.

Any who on to my point.  This un named retard went and posted that we should lighten up on Bay, because he has great eye!  Listing his “GREAT” movies (Bad Boys, Transformers (you already know my opinion on that one), Armageddon, and The Island.  Saying that Bay should go and direct something like Uncle Tom’s Cabin or something to show the world he isn’t just a hack.

My first reaction… LAWL!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING!!!!

Second reaction… *RAGE* YOU’RE NOT FUCKING JOKING!!!!! Bay has done mediocre movies at best.  Nothing this man has ever done has really been “GREAT” as you put it.  Some of them may be better then others, but frankly he is just a hack!  I will give credit to the man and his special effects.  Though, honestly, he shouldn’t be directing.  You want to go and look up his movies on IMDB? The best rating for any of those films you listed was 7.2 for The Rock! (I didn’t add that on the list but the original post did)  The rest were in the 6′s.  Again stating, the man is a mediocre director, and shouldn’t be behind a fucking camera!!!  Leave him to special effects and don’t let him touch anything else!

Direct Uncle Tom’s Cabin my ass!!!! He’s already raped enough classics (Transformers) don’t let him get into literary classics too!  What made me rage even more was the amount of comments stating that Bay was a “Good Director”.  Thankfully, there were enough people there to tell these people they were all morons and that Bay has done enough as is.

lsafkdngmaq[‘e90tugq’arefgmasdfgsgfdhmh;le!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <— (raging)

To back up my header statement, I would like to say that 2 storms ago, we had a 75 car pile up going east on the I10.  This caused a huge traffic jam nearly 8 miles long.  I happened to be on my way to work as the said storm was starting.  You could see the clouds and rain moving towards me, and you could also see EVERY FUCKING VEHICLE ON THE ROAD SLAMMING ON THEIR BRAKES!!!!  I quickly got off the interstate and took back roads to work.

The last storm we had here in Phoenix it happened to flood.  Here I happened to see people stopping in the middle of the road if there was any bit of water on the road. In fact I was riding with somebody who is from this area, and he himself whined like a little bitch that there was water on the road.

Maybe you’re thinking to yourself “Well Kevin, That’s not entirely fair.  It is the desert, they are not use to the natural phenomenon that you and me would call ‘rain’, surely you are being to harsh!”  Well let me tell you something then ^_^ ….. /RAGE ,|,, STFU!! I WAS NEARLY IN TWO ACCIDENTS! BOTH ACCURING LESS THEN 50FT FROM EACH OTHER!!!!

I was driving home from work today, sitting at a red light, patiently waiting.  Finally it turns green and some douche bag on a motorcycle wanna be moped cut me off and swerved ridiculously close to my car.  He cut between me and a huge semi barely fitting between the two vehicles.  I had such an urge to gas the car hard and cut him off as he started to move to my lane, if it wasn’t for the fact he would have hit the semi in front of him.  Alas, I controlled my rage and moved along.

Apparently though that semi-truck driver was in a douchie mood too, that or realized way too late that the ramp he was about to pass up was the one to the main interstate.  Needless to say as I am more than half way along the side of the trailer, I see out of the corner of my eye that it is moving closer to me.  I turn and see it is moving closer to me, alarmingly fast.  So again I slam on my breaks to avoid getting hit.  Luckily he hit a red light again before the fucker… sorry “Trucker” (useewatIdidthur?) could take out the front end of my car.

To give a tad more detail as to how close he came to running over the front end of my car… I could have rolled down my window on the passenger side, and wrote my name on the side.  I had to put my car in reverse, and back up, very carefully, from between the curb and his tires.  If it wasn’t for the fact that he could have easily run those monstrous tires over my lil T-Bird and him not feel a thing, I would have left my car where it was out of stubbornness.  Although… Having the front end of my car taken out by a semi wouldn’t be the brightest thing to do.

Needless to say…. I was effing pissed right the hell off!!!  Fuck these drivers! This city’s inhabitants need to learn to effing drive >.<!