The Tab

OOOOOKAY!! By demand I am going to write something in today.

So I explained my first drinking incident that involved cops and all of its glory, now on to the rest of the list!  Though Heather…  I’m still not sure I can ever forgive you for it either… >=(

Any one here ever done something they regret?  And I’m not just talking “Oops…”  I am talking like “OMFG I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT!!!! I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE AFTER THIS!!! I CAN’T FUNCTION PROPERLY!!! BRAIN… NOT… FUNCTIONING!!!” kind of thing?  *raises hand*  ugh…

So twilight aids… twice… -_-

You know its bad enough that the modern tween chicks(and a few guys >.<) actually got dragged into the new fad that is Twilight, but some actual adult like figures got pulled in as well.  I can’t say I understand this at all because personally, it was written horribly!  The author was writing for a simple minded audience obviously, you can tell by her writing.  It was just written terribly! Seriously, people I know personally who like this shit on paper have even agreed that it’s written poorly.  SO WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!111!one  How can so many people like this shit and admit that it is something I should wipe my ass with?! This obsession has become a fucking cult! and you can see it every where you go.  [this is where I lead into what I was actually meaning to talk about ;) ]

Heather and myself go down to Louisville to watch Pirate Radio, and holy sparkling vampires batman! The theater is full of twilight tweenies!!  FULL of them!!  I am fairly sure that I caught something just by standing off to the side trying to avoid the brainless bloodsucking sparklers.  Luckily that didn’t last too long, I was getting sick to the stomach, we were able to make it to our seats and rid ourselves of these kids.  But if this experience wasn’t enough, I had already set myself up for something FAR worse…

[incoming Jaws music] [set plot back a few days prior to movies excursion]

I am on the phone with Heather, trying to talk her into seeing pirate radio with me.  We haven’t hung out in ages, not like we used to at least, and I severely missed hanging out with one of my craziest friends.  So to ensure that we could actually hang out, with out thinking much at all, I recall her telling me her, Billy, and Janette were all going to see the new Twilight movie…  If you haven’t guessed what I just did by now I declare you moron sir/ ma’am and should be shot =D

That’s right… I fucking told her that if she goes with me I’ll go with her.  [reference: OMFG!!! stated above]  Sad part is… I went through with it.

I show up at her place day of, and every one already seems ready to go.  I enthusiastically drag my already sick carcass to the car and ride on to La Grange.  If having to go wasn’t bad enough, these fuckers were actually going to have me buy my ticket solo.  Yeah imagine this if you would:

Random guy walks in a theater with a dude and two chicks, nothing out of the ordinary.  They all get in line talking, having a good time laughing and all while waiting.  Its their turn and the one guy only buys three tickets, and gives two to the girls.  The remaining fellow walks up and says with such despair in his voice I almost didn’t laugh “One for twilight please…..”

FUCK NO!!! I made Billy give me his damn money and I got the tickets as a group.  Fucking fuck fuckers fucking making me get ONE ticket for TWILIGHT by myself… I don’t think so, bad enough I was even there! >=(

So we get the tickets and find our seat and the torture begins.  Let me please describe to you the absolute hell that I went through for two hours and thirty five minutes……

The lights dim, girls are going crazy, people are finding their seats and I notice… besides Billy, I’m not the only guy here!  Some other poor bastards got tricked into this as well! So I don’t feel as bad… at this moment.  Movie starts, and we’re given the character Bella Swan.  I will refer to her as her acting style though: EMOtionless….  This chick had the same damn look on her fucking face for the entire film.  2 1/2 hours of simply -_-   Seriously! I am not making this shit up!  We are then introduced to a few other characters that I assumed were the vampires (Dracula would roll over in his grave if he wasn’t a pile of dust), as well as the infamous Edward and Jacob.  These two characters… seemed pretty much the same to me.  Every single one of their lines were the same!

I love you EMOtionless! I’ll do anything for you EMOtionless!  I love you so much I can’t be with you now so I’m going to push you away and make you go through seizures and random fits of pain and agony EMOtionless!  Really… I just don’t know what to do at this point.  Sadly… that was the movie.  Both these guys claim to love the same girl, leave her, and make her go through some epileptic attack and shit.  I have nothing else to say for the movie.

Though I had some horrible moments where Jacob (I will call him ‘Dude w/o shirt for every time he practically appeared on scream, our mister sharkboy was shirtless) would come on and every fucking single girl in the audience would woo and possibly even the crotchal regions get damp….. and the fucking gay guy behind me would grunt something fierce. Again, I am not fucking kidding you!  I was pretty sure there was something nasty crawling down the back of my seat.  I went as far to ask and make sure nothing got on me >.<

We have an empty shell of a character as a main character who doesn’t seem to make any progression through the story, two irritably  over attractive male figures, and no plot…  So I reiterate….How can so many people like this shit and admit that it is something I should wipe my ass with?!  And why did I actually go to see this PoS on film?!

I’m going to go take a shower, just remembering this awful event makes me feel dirty with diseases

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